Excellent man. [her car has broken down] The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. MISS TRUNCHBULL Don't be pathetic! Oh, no, you are not "full". Narrator: We can spell "difficulty".
Watch Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical | Netflix Official Site If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. So you're Wormwood, are you? Put your light on. . All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? MATILDA Now, the secret to my success in business is . . MRS PHELPS Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. in . To fetch a pail of water. There's, erm . And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? I love my school it isn't fair! Agatha Trunchbull: If you don't, I will get you. RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. I don't know. And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. Six times two is twelve. Two times . Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Restores my faith in human kind. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. Hat seems to be, er . Very supple. But learning a language is over the top . Michael: Matilda: . BIG KID [BEN] 8. Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! I didn't, I was on the garage roof. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. Mrs. Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! WOMAN: Smile for mummy! [Talking about the cake] For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. Well done, Bogtrotter. We're not rich. MATILDA FBI Agent Bob: DOCTOR Extra strong. ], MISS HONEY I've got a plane to catch at three. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? What is this, a hot tub party? RUDOLPHO Agatha Trunchbull: You're off to school in a few days' time. . But the "tomato" is a very good word. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. Yourself, Matilda? [He throws the phone to the lackey.] MRS WORMWOOD He's eaten it all. Trunchbull: I'll tell you tomorrow. [He laughs.] Stand back, son! Oh, that's where it's at! The fibers fused to my hair! I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. MATILDA And if it's not right, Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? Mrs. D? MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. Go on, Brucey! Back before my life had ended, Do you think I altered my intended elevation? Matilda: Every new life NIGEL have you read a whole book? Would rob them of their hope of living happily. Did you hear what he said? He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. Can you service me? [yells] MAN: So hilarious. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! Her life was good and happy. Agatha Trunchbull: Useless, flamin' car! MRS PHELPS MATILDA With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. Watch as her eyes light up and her smile turn into an impressed grin. My mummy says I'm a miracle. I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Write this down. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. But I didn't do anything. Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. Yep! Eight times two is sixteen. [to his partner] Michael: What?! Good morning, children! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. 13. For men. [insulted] They sits and unpack their bags. Content has never been less important, so Oh, yes. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. 2. Nicholas Nickleby . . Then your mummy is a twit! DOCTOR That's not fair at all! What're they going to do, repossess the kid? I don't want any, thank you. Quite the contrary. The subsequent fall was inevitable. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] The boy's a looney. Hmm. MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. Quick, jackets! Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? No, it's fine. "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. 5. The Lord of the Rings . Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! The library? MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. Nothing will change. I have suffered in this Jail, MATILDA [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. Matilda: Can't you sell good cars, Dad? That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? AAAHH! Yes, please. Do I allow pigs in my school? Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. [to Nigel] When did this happen? I don't know what you're talking about. And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. You should read it. If you sit around and let them get on top, you You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? With an owchie . But it's a truth empirical. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. | You can't. Narrator: google_color_border="EDC7C2"; have you read a whole book? Agatha Trunchbull: Mr Wormwood! A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] MISS HONEY When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. DOCTOR This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. One day when I'm older, I swear, I won't take our love for granite. [interrupting] Just you wait for phys-ed! 19. The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. Mr. Wormwood. I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. . Now go watch TV like a good kid. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. This calls for a proper smoke. Good heavens. What's wrong with the telly? MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. MR WORMWOOD Yes, Miss Trunchbull. My daddy says I'm his special little . A single slice, No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. It's just pathetic. MR WORMWOOD I mean, take a look at you and me. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Please! MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. Check it if you don't believe me. MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. This child is a girl. . MRS PHELPS . Okay. MAN: I think he blinked. Narrator: I'm not paying it. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, You what? Harry Wormwood: It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] | Share this Matilda : I love it here! Harry Wormwood: Of course! She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Just write. 21. MISS HONEY Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! [into recorder] MAN: We'll have to change his school. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. MRS WORMWOOD CHILDREN MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. MRS WORMWOOD Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. Why? There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Yes! MATILDA That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? Jenny: This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! To stand up and be proud! So, Matilda. I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. . Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. A bell rings. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . Miss Honey: His fingie. Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. MRS WORMWOOD It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Wormwood! [She murmurs along to the music.] MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Come on! . MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. Hup, two, four, free. I didn't go to college. Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! . Matilda: Don't let her win. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. . She holds up the final "10". AAHHH! Ooh, me, me, me, miss! That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. Come stai? MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. What are you waiting for? The teacher's clearly falling short. What you know matters less 2. Agatha Trunchbull: I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . "thinking". and . Who you been talking to? MRS PHELPS When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, Trunchbull: They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. MATILDA RUDOLPHO How do you do this? Stand up and be proud! BIG KIDS 7. But I've got a baby! The police decided he killed himself. Every new life MR WORMWOOD [throws carrot from the spoon. Agatha Trunchbull: Lord knows we've tried. MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: . MISS HONEY He surely can't! And that's not right! A person. MATILDA Lights up. The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. I think he blinked. That was Miss Honey. Knock on the door, Jenny. . DOCTOR Zinnia Wormwood: . For this newt, you piss-worm! One look at my face and it's plain to see. Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. Oliver Twist . . I did *not* glue my hat to my head! Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! Oh, it's nothing like that. . I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! Lavender? Instead, she's found me. .